Michael Jackson Funeral [First Version Photos]

A somber and respectful service will be held at an upscale funeral home in Los Angeles.  The funeral will be closed casket, with a large picture of Michael from 1982.    Seated front row will be Jackson’s ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley, the  skeleton of the Elephant Man, Bubbles 4 (the most recent pet monkey to carry the name), and Macaulay Culkin.  The remaining members of the Four Tops, The Temptations, Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and the Supremes will all perform at the ceremony to pay their respects.  Acting as pallbearers will be the Harlem Globetrotters, who made Michael an honorary member in 1978.

President Barack Obama has expressed his sadness at the news of Jackson’s death.  In respect he held his press conference on the matter wearing one white glove.  Secret Service reports indicate he spent last night drinking scotch and moon-walking through the White House.Sources within the intelligence community believe that Kim Jong Il may be planning a tribute concert in Pyongyang, wearing a red leather version of his standard jumpsuit.  Photographs show Kim Jong Il desperately trying to learn the dance to Thriller.

The closed casket, and other details, have raised some questions.  Yesterday afternoon also saw a flurry of strange meteorological activity over the New Mexico desert.  When asked, one source working out of Area 51 who wishes to remain anonymous said “Michael?  He not dead.  He’s just going home.”

Despite his many controversies and eccentricities the world mourns the loss of this unforgettable musical icon.

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